Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Wishing on Wishbones
Normally I try not to post about the struggles that I have, the down times. But right now nothing comes to mind to write, no topic is pushing at me, screaming "Write me, tell my story". I am sitting here just blah, even though it is one of those rare fall days in Western New York when the sun is shining, I just can't seem to get out of my own way. I have quilts that need to be finished, have knitting projects to do, a house to clean, but I just cannot seem to get ambition for any of them.
I am missing Robert and being pregnant, and realizing that if he had lived I would be delivering in about 7-8 wks. I should be getting ready and all the anticipation that comes with expecting a child, and instead I am praying for the miracle of becoming pregnant again. Also 1 wk from today is what would have been my due date for the ectopic pregnancy we had this year. I have never had a loss, had that due date approach without being close to being due. This is a new experience for me and I am not liking it, it hurts to feel like this, to want to be pregnant, to feel my baby kicking...
So now I am trying to be positive, trying to remember all that God has blessed me with. Yet I find myself wishing on a wishbone, wishing on a star, wishing on anything that I can.