Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Wishing on Wishbones

Normally I try not to post about the struggles that I have, the down times. But right now nothing comes to mind to write, no topic is pushing at me, screaming "Write me, tell my story". I am sitting here just blah, even though it is one of those rare fall days in Western New York when the sun is shining, I just can't seem to get out of my own way. I have quilts that need to be finished, have knitting projects to do, a house to clean, but I just cannot seem to get ambition for any of them.

I am missing Robert and being pregnant, and realizing that if he had lived I would be delivering in about 7-8 wks. I should be getting ready and all the anticipation that comes with expecting a child, and instead I am praying for the miracle of becoming pregnant again. Also 1 wk from today is what would have been my due date for the ectopic pregnancy we had this year. I have never had a loss, had that due date approach without being close to being due. This is a new experience for me and I am not liking it, it hurts to feel like this, to want to be pregnant, to feel my baby kicking...

So now I am trying to be positive, trying to remember all that God has blessed me with. Yet I find myself wishing on a wishbone, wishing on a star, wishing on anything that I can.

1 comment:

  1. i am so sorry, and completely relate. i would have no more than 7 weeks until they would have delivered my triplets. It would be so close. And they are already gone. praying for you to feel His comfort today, because for me at least, nothing else will do.