Monday, August 15, 2011

Speaking Out

One of the hardest things to do is speak out when things don't go as you think they should. You are afraid that your opinion won't matter or that you are overreacting. But sometimes speaking out about your experience will change things.

After loosing Robert, all I could think was no one understood what I was going through (of course others had been down this road, but I did not know who). I ended up trying to Google support groups in the area (NOT a fun think to Google) and did not really get anywhere. So I called my OB's office who referred me to a contact they had at the hospital.

Voice wavering, I called and asked about support groups. The woman I spoke with was so kind and offered to send me the loss packets they had, as well as support info. Wishing I had had all that info after leaving the hospital, I agreed and thanked her. When I did receive the information, she had included her card, as well as the card of a woman who is the Nurse Manager of the high risk maternity floor. Thinking I would never have a reason to speak to either, I set the cards in the memory box I had made and read through all the material, including on when and where a support group meets.

But in that reading I found that the hospital offers Baptism Certificates and I wanted one, so I dug out the card of the woman in charge of the high risk floor and emailed her. Instead of just emailing, me she called and we spoke on my experience on the surgery floor (it was a same day) and she said that she would like to forward my concerns and suggestions to the nurse manager of that floor. Of course I said yes, what else could I say.

I never thought that my comments would be taken seriously, that anyone would really listen, since what I thought must have been voiced before. But to my surprise I received a email from the surgery floors nurse manager wanting to talk about my experience and suggestions to help make the process easier on other loss mamma's.

That all said, what does it mean. It means that your voice matters and maybe someone else has thought the same thing you did, but never spoke out. Maybe your voice is the one that tips the scales into a policy being changed. Maybe you make something better or easier for someone who has to walk the same road as you.


  1. This is beautiful. Praying that many people will benefit from you speaking and sharing your story.

  2. Hi - I was directed to your blog by Debby of For Your Tears. I am very sorry for all your losses. Baby Robert's recent loss just twisted your heart and broke it again, I know. I lost my baby girl in 1974 and I will never forget her. My email is If you would like free memorial scrapbook tags for your angels, please email me. My blog -
    Thinking of you,
    Sarita Boyette

  3. You do have a voice and I'm so glad you are using it. It will help others! Our babies change our lives and because of them there is a need to help others who have been in the same position as us. It's a constant pay it forward and I am so thankful for having met so many wonderful women in this journey. Your baby boy has a whole world to impact!